Nuffnang

Friday, 24 February 2017

Maybe I Should Throw A Tantrum

She used to look so baby-like! She has changed so much since this picture.
But one thing sure hasn't changed, her hatred for sleep -.-
If anything it's getting worse *curls fists*

Everything is going well. She's playing at her little table with her little make believe kitchen set. All's good. Then it's bed time. Oh the time I dread the most because for the past month, bedtimes has been filled with plenty of tears , screams, wide mouth "waaaahhhhh" crying I thought was only possible in animes and a lot of frustration. I have never met anyone who hated sleep so much until I had this child of mine. And they say kids sleep alot. Clearly not this kid *rolls eyes*. 

You know those videos of babies and toddlers falling asleep while halfway eating or singing or playing... well I'm still waiting for my turn. This kid here never sleeps... willingly anyway. It's always a lot of negotiating, pleading and when everything fails I turn to my most trusted method of counting down and walking out. The screams are horrendous and it makes me look like such a bad cop but it works. Usually by then she would be so exhausted by all the crying she'll just sleep. Not my favourite method but I'm desperate. 

The other day as she was crying and refusing to sleep, throwing the mother of all tantrums I wondered, what would happen if I threw the tantrum. What a sight that would be but for that split second of irrationality I wanted to throw a mega tantrum. I was frustrated, tired, annoyed, irritated and just had enough of all this. Whatever this is. 

Honestly there's no real point to this post. I just thought I'd write it down and share with you a bit of what I go through on a daily basis. So yes, what's new with this mommy? Oh, you know, just more crises that needs solving / managing / figuring out. Never a dull moment. It's just that this mama is weak and right now I'm praying for this phase to end. Hopefully soon because one of these days the husband is going to find me throwing the tantrum. 

In the meantime, anyone has any tips to share about getting stubborn two year olds to sleep willingly? Or is it normal for two year olds to NOT want to sleep -.-

-Ally

Thursday, 16 February 2017

Dear Husband, Today I Saw You

Dear Husband, 

Today I saw you. 

I saw you sleeping at 10.30PM because you were more tired than usual. I won't lie, I was a bit disappointed because we had great plans tonight after the little one went to bed. We were supposed to stay up, eat supper and watch an episode of Gotham. Instead, I was lying in bed because our daughter has gotten extra clingy with me this week with you snoring beside me. I wanted to be upset but then I saw you. I saw you and I felt horrible. What a selfish wife you have. 

I saw you. Today I saw you sleeping and realised you look older. I saw the frown lines between your brows that our daughter has inherited, it has grown deeper. I saw how your skin isn't as bright as it used to be. I saw the signs of tiredness that I have missed during the day. That's when I realised that you have it tough. And then I feel like the luckiest woman in the world. 

I feel like the luckiest woman because all this while you are quietly making big sacrifices so that I can have a good life. And you do it so selflessly, without complaining, without whining, without expecting anything in return. You shield me from all the worries in life so that I can be me. You protect me from all the toughness of the world so that I can live freely. You give everything and make the hard sacrifices so that I don't have to think so hard, work so hard, worry so hard. You go the extra mile so that I can have a good life, a great life, an undeserving life. You put in so much and yet you demand so little. 

Today I saw you. I saw all the times you were quietly working in the background. Putting in extra effort at work and then coming home and being 100% available to our daughter and I. You come home with a big smile even if you had a bad day. It doesn't matter how busy you are at work, you still go the extra mile to remind me how much I'm loved with surprises and love. No matter how tired you are, you still spend time with us, listen to us and entertain us. 

Dear Husband, 

Today I saw you. 

And I'm so thankful for you. I'm so thankful for everything you've given us. I'm so thankful that you make an effort to be a great husband and an even greater daddy. I'm so thankful for all the small and big sacrifices you have made to give us the life we have today. I am so thankful for your friendship, your company, your time, your love - you. I am so thankful that you always want to be present in our lives, you want to know everything and you want to be involved. I am so thankful that you always want to spoil your "queen" and "princess". I'm so thankful that you still believe in and go all out for grand romantic gestures even after SEVEN years of being together. I am so thankful that you never hold a grudge against my mistakes, never compare and take count of things, never expect anything in return, and most of all, still want and choose to be with me even with all my flaws and failures. 

Today I saw you and I realised that while on the outside you have changed, your love for me hasn't. You have always shown me how treasured I am, how valued I am and how loved I am.
Husbands and daddies definitely don't get enough credit and I want you and the world to know that you're an amazing husband and daddy. I am so blessed to be your wife. 

I love you so much. 
Today I saw you and I fell in love with you all over again.
Tomorrow ask me for anything ;) 

Love,
Your Wife.

Monday, 13 February 2017

An End Of A Journey, A Start Of A New

I knew it was time. We have been training for this day. The frequency was getting lesser as each day passed. The need and desire lessened as each passing day. The clock ticked unassumingly, time passed routinely as it should but everything was changing. It was time. Time to stop breastfeeding.

"When Breastfeeding Comes To An End"


I had been preparing for months (2 months to be exact) for me to wean LittleLim from breastfeeding. I have been sneakily dropping one feed each week without bringing it to LittleLim's attention. I chose to go about it this way because I couldn't bear stopping cold turkey, I couldn't deal with the betrayal meltdowns - I am weak that way. I chose the less painful method for the both of us. Life went on without her 11am feed, then her 2pm feed, then her 8pm feed and soon I was only feeding her when she was going to sleep - nap time, bed time and in between the night when she stirs. Soon she had stopped the midnight wakes and was sleeping through the night and I was just down to two feeds a day. And then I got pregnant. 

When I found out I was pregnant with baby2, I knew I didn't want to tandem feed. It was a decision I made selfishly. I needed a break, I needed my freedom back even if it was just for 9 months, I needed to feel like my own person again before my life revolves around being a cow again. I did it for me and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I had already been breastfeeding for more than 20months, longer than I had planned to and I will always be thankful and proud that my body is able to do this. But I needed to stop for me. 

I knew my journey was coming to an end and when we were down to two feeds a day, I cherished it. I held her a little closer, I smelt her head longer, I held her hand, I memorised the way her hand would stroke my bare chest, the way she looked - I took it all in and stored it in my memory bank. I knew that it was ending, I knew it would end and I thought I was ready but nothing prepared me for the day it did end. 

It was like any other day except that we had more things going on. She took a nap in the car seat while I drove. We had a playdate. We had dinner with daddy. We caught a movie and she fell asleep halfway. We got home, I transferred her to bed. She didn't feed at all that day. I knew the time had come. I broke down in the shower because I knew it was time to stop. 

The next day she asked and I distracted her. When it was nap time, I told her big girls don't need "bubu", that's what I call it, and she fell asleep within minutes. I repeated it again at night and again she went to bed without a fight. Soon one day became three, then a week, then a month and the next thing I knew she was two. While my heart do yearn for it sometimes especially when I feel like my little miss is growing up so fast, while I feel a bit sad that I no longer get to have that intimate mummy-daughter time - I'm so thankful for how smooth the transition was for her and for me. 

There were little tears on her part. The only time she would cry was when she needed comfort. That was an easy fix, I replaced "bubu" with "hugs". Every time she felt down, I told her "no bubu but mummy can hug hug" and that would work. She just needed her mummy and for her short life, bubu was the only thing that she knew that would let her be close to mummy. Now it was time to introduce her to the world of hugs and kisses and what they mean. For me, my body has been ready for a while. I have not felt any "fullness" for a while and I knew I had milk it just wasn't a lot. So when it stopped, I didn't go through any physical pains other than emotional one. Like I said, there were days where I missed it. I missed her. I missed the quietness. I missed how easy it was to comfort her with bubu. I missed it. But I also told myself, I will be okay. 

I don't have tips and neither am I a pro. I just chose a method that was less painful for both of us and a lot of mummy instincts. Maybe it was because I was pregnant and my milk just tasted different. Maybe she was more ready than I thought she was. Maybe the new routine worked too well. Maybe she wanted to be acknowledged as a big girl. Whatever it was, I'm happy that it went smoothly and easily. If there's one thing I learnt on my breastfeeding journey is that you do you. Do what is best for the both of you. There is no magic method, timeline or formula. You just do what you think it's best.

Now that I'm 20 weeks pregnant and my body is going through so much I really cannot imagine breastfeeding and doing the whole pregnant thing. I salute moms who stick through it but for myself, I can't. I'm happy to be myself again, to be able to regain the power over my body again, to dress the way I want to without having to worry about it being "breastfeeding friendly" - I needed this. I need this. Being pregnant is difficult as it is, I'm glad I'm able to enjoy being me even if it is for a short while. To enjoy this new journey again, to have a fresh start.

And in about 20weeks (or less) it starts all over again. 

-Ally

Wednesday, 25 January 2017

LittleLim's Floral 2nd Birthday

"She is precious in every way,
The sunshine to our days, 
The joy of our souls,
And the beautiful flower of our lives." 


21.01.17

I've always loved throwing parties. Any reason to celebrate is my motto! My daughter is turning two and I knew I was going to be throwing her a birthday party. The only thing that I did not foresee was how pregnancy would make me so lethargic, exhausted and sick. I was so out of it that I almost cancelled the whole party idea but changed my mind. This was my first born and this was the last party where she'll get all the attention before her little brother or sister comes along and crashes the party. Also, two is a wonderful age where she's able to be part of the celebration and take everything in. 

I'm a bit embarassed to admit it, but I chose flowers as the theme because I was lazy. I mean you can't get anything more simpler than flowers. It was easy to obtain and flowers always make everything look good. That was how it started and how I would spend the next 2 months sourcing floral decorations from Taobao.

I guess all my flower talk must have rubbed off on LittleLim because sometime around December, LittleLim started to like flowers. She loved smelling them and whenever she saw flowers her face would light up. When she started to say "Flawaaa" I knew it was meant to be. I couldn't be happier!


Paper flowers: Taobao
Flower table cloth: Taobao
Desserts: Cherry Cake House, Wondermilk 
Cake: Wondermilk
Balloons: Balloon Wonderland, Publika







Paper cups: Taobao
Cotton Candy: Cotton Candy Kuala Lumpur

While I was taking the easy way out, Hubbycat was determined to go all out. He decided that he was going to cook for all our 50+ guests. Not just any simple meal but a full canape fine dining, Troika inspired way. I was worried because man power was something we were lacking and of course heavy duty cooking equipment but I knew that if anyone could pull it off it would be him. And boy did he pull it off in a grand fashion of 3 canapes and 1 main dish and my sister made devilled eggs. The food was amazing and most importantly, it was fit for his little princess.







I'm so thankful that everything came together so nicely thanks to Jazs, Yan and our family. This party certainly wouldn't have happened without them. They worked tirelessly behind the scenes setting up the venue, decorating, preparing food, replenishing food etc. I didn't have to think about anything other than be present and enjoy the party which I did, maybe a little bit too much because I forgot the agenda. Almost forgot about cake cutting, forgot the candles and also forgot to serve the cake to our guest. I'm lucky I get to pin it down to pregnancy brain >.< haha!

And of course the friends who came and shared this joyous occasion with us. People whom I'm blessed to call friends and to be able to do this journey with. They say it takes a kampung to raise a kid, I'm so glad I have so many experienced mommies to help me out! 




Most importantly, the birthday girl had a wonderful time. All the late nights planning, finger burns, food preparation and backaches are worth it. I still remember when she entered the hall and took everything in, her first words were "Waaa, Nie" (Waaah, nice) and then ran to the balloons. Haha! One thing is for sure, Hubbycat has said that he'll never want to cook again but we all know that if his princess asks, he will sure to say "yes". Haha! As for mommy, for now I'm saying no, but we all know you can't stop this mama from throwing a party! *wink*







Happy 2nd Birthday my darling. Mommy and Daddy are so glad you had such a good time. We loved watching you enjoy your party. You had such a lovely time running around, playing with your friends, eating all the yummy food and just having fun without a care in the world. We love you. 

-Ally

Tuesday, 24 January 2017

Dear LittleLim on Your Second Birthday


Dearest LittleLim,

Darling, you turn the big two today and sometimes I find it impossibly hard to believe you are two. It feels like just yesterday you were small enough to fit into the crook of my arm, that's right one arm. How is it that you are now two? Some days I still see you as that cooing baby who gets terrible reflux and has really bad sleeping habits. It's so hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that you are no longer that baby anymore. Yet there are days where it feels like you are a forty year old stuck in a two year old body and then I realise how much alike we are. 

Strong willed, independent, determined, loud, extrovert and bossy. These traits are so apparent now and so many people say you are just like daddy and I. Apparently you have our strong, don't give a care attitude and honestly, I am a proud mommy. You have no idea how proud your daddy and I are to be your parents. You may be "naughtier" than others but you are also so wonderful and perfect. There isn't a thing we would change about you because there is nothing to change. We love everything about you. 

The way you are brave enough to try new things and explore new places. The way you know what you want and will try everything in your power to get it even at two years old. The way you have the courage to learn from experiences even if it means getting knocked down and burnt in the process, you still take that leap regardless! The way you are so independent and want to do everything on your own even when your body hasn't developed the "skill" yet, you still want to try doing it on your own before asking for help. The way you have such a gentle spirit and while you are loud, you are never brash or aggressive. The way you love and show it through your kisses and hugs - I'm so happy you're a hugger and a kisser! The way you are so sociable and friendly that it doesn't even take you two minutes to make a friend or get a stranger to completely fall in love with you. 

You my dear are a surprise, a firecracker, an outlier and there is no box big enough to fit you. We are slowly but surely learning that about you. You teach us that you do things differently and teach us to parent differently. So many people has come up and told us how unique you are and how you aren't like many other children - it makes me scared sometimes that you may feel left out but at the same time, I am comforted because you are made with purpose, with reason and with intent. There is no mistake and we know that one day this will be the reason you shine bright. So if you ever do feel left out, know that one day this gift will be the reason you are you. 

The past two years has been magical. We are so thankful to be your parents and that you are here with us. So many wonderful moments we have had as a family and so many beautiful memories made. In the past two years you have learnt so many life skills and have grown wonderfully. It has been my joy to be able to walk along side you and help you along the way. There are days where I take a mental picture and remind myself to be in the moment because tomorrow you will be a little more grown up. It's a bittersweet feeling for your daddy and I when we think of you growing up. It breaks our heart a little because we always will see you as our tiny baby girl. 

A little advice for you, don't rush growing up. There are so many things you can do only as a child and I would love for you to try it all and do it all. That's why daddy and I hardly stop you from doing things because we know it's part of your growing up. There are things in life you only get to experience and do once and your childhood is one of it. So be a child while you still can because there will be a day when you have to grow up and face the world. But till that day comes, mommy and daddy only want you to have the best childhood. 

And never forget the reason for your name. You are the work of God. Always have been right from the beginning. God is never done with you and as you do life, always remember that each moment, each experience, each lesson is God's way of working on you. He's the reason you are you and the reason why you are here. In everything you do, may you bring Him glory. 

We love you darling. And if you are reading this letter as an adult, we hope you know how loved you are. So very very very much. 

Love,
Mommy & Daddy
2017

Tuesday, 17 January 2017

This Is Motherhood


"Welcome to Motherhood"... except that I didn't know what motherhood was all about. The first night home from the hospital, when it was just us and baby - that was the moment I realised I didn't know anything about being a mother. Regardless of all that I had read online or through books, nothing had prepared me fully for the realisation that I was now a mom. I was just as helpless as that little bundle in my arms. 

There are days when I wonder if I deserved to be called "mommy". I wonder if I had mistaken myself for being able to take on this role. There are days where I honestly do not know what in the world I was doing and just had to wing it. Days when it was so impossible that running away seemed like a good idea. But it's also on those days when I'm feeling the smallest and weakest that I find out what motherhood is all about.

First let me tell you what motherhood is NOT. It's not waking up at 3am to feed a baby. It's not changing the baby because she pooped. It's not making sure the house is clean and tidy. It's not making sure there is food on the table or toilet paper in the toilet paper holders. Motherhood is not forcing your child to wear pants or sending them to school. If it was, then your job as a mother can easily be replaced by the helper. But it's not. Your child calls you mommy, not the helper. Motherhood is not being the perfect mom.

Motherhood is this - it is YOU.  It's when I'm about to give up and LittleLim comes up to me and hugs me or kisses my forehead or holds my hand that I realise she doesn't see my flaws, she sees me. Motherhood is not perfection, motherhood is you being present in the face of imperfection. Motherhood is you feeling small but still giving your child confidence. Motherhood is you feeling scared but you giving your child courage. Motherhood is you feeling tired but still giving your best to provide for your child. Motherhood is you feeling drained but still loving them through each booboo, temper tantrums and heartaches. Motherhood is you having a thousand and one things to do but still being present in your child's life. 

Motherhood isn't about having a well-kept home, clean dishes, folded laundry and clean litter boxes at home. Your child won't remember the number of times they had to eat out because you were too tired to cook or the pile of laundry that hasn't been done because you were too busy with other things. But your child will remember you. Your child will remember the times you put them to bed even though you were exhausted, they remember the times you went to their class play even though you had other errands to do, they remember the days you sat by them encouraging them when you were feeling small, they remember the moments you held them when they hurt because that was all you can do. They won't remember your motherhood "duties" but they will remember "you". 

If you feel like you aren't good enough to be a mom, you're not alone. I too feel that way. But let it not stop us from being present. Let it not stop us from being the best versions (even though a little bit flawed) of ourselves because our kids depend on us to be there for them even when we feel less than perfect. Always remember that motherhood isn't about being perfect but it's about teaching our kids to overcome weaknesses, be brave even in the midst of fear, be responsible in the face of exhaustion and to love unconditionally. 

The greatest gift a mother can give their children is themselves. That's motherhood. Keep soldiering on mama, you are good enough <3 

-Ally

Friday, 6 January 2017

To My Firstborn Daughter



Dear LittleLim,

I remember the first day I found out I was pregnant with you. Surprised, scared, happy, excited all wrapped in one pee stick. Oh, how I counted down to the day I finally get to see your beautiful face. I remember my heart bursting the moment I heard your screams, the moment I felt your skin on mine, the moment you entered the world and I became a mom.

You were the first one who became more important than myself (let's keep this from daddy ok :D ). The one who can make me want to change my life a 180 degrees the other way for without even a second thought. The one who makes giving up my life for easy. 

You were the first human who made me clean their dirty bumbums, scrape vomit off the bed, sleep in pee stained sheets because I didn't want to wake you up and the first human who kept me up all night taking your temperature.

You were the one who had to endure all my mom mistakes. Rolling off the bed because I didn't think you could roll. Eating hard carrots because I didn't know how long to steam them for. All my tantrums and frustrations sent your way because I was still learning to parent you and am still learning. Thank you for your patience, thank your for your forgiveness and thank you for being my teacher.

You were the one whom I taught to crawl, walk, clap, talk and I enjoyed each moment. The pride of being a mom whose child has hit their milestones. You made me feel all that and more.

You were the one who made me realise that I wanted to be a mom. I wanted to be the best mom for you. You were the one who unlocked something inside me that made me realise that being a mom is one of the best things I would ever get to do in my life. You were the one who made me love being a mom.



AND, It's because of you mommy and daddy are excited to be parents again. We know you will be such a wonderful big sister to your new baby brother/sister. If you ever feel frustrated at our growing family because you feel you now have to compete for attention and love, know that mommy and daddy have enough love for all of you and you will always have a special place in our hearts.

So while you may no longer be our only child, always remember that you my dear will always be our first born. I love you unconditionally, fiercely and protectively always.

Love, Mommy.

Thursday, 5 January 2017

S E V E N D A T E Y E A R S


On the 5th of January, 2010 a boy asked a girl out. Seven years later in 2017, against odds, winning and losing together, staying young together (Asian genes ftw!), maturing together, building our lives from nothing to where it is today - never a day doing life without each other and the results show. That boy is you, Hubbycat and the girl is me. 

I love how it's been 7 years but it always feels like a new day with you. There's always something new to learn, you teach me something new about you and sometimes about me and I love how in these 7 years we've achieved so much together and I'm truly proud to say that we have been through so much only to come out stronger. 

There is never too much time together with you. I still remember being told to have my "own space" when we were dating because it was "unhealthy" to always stick to each other. While it may be true for many, I guess we're just a bunch of misfits. 7 years of togetherness and I still want more time with you. It's crazy how we work together, live together and have the same bunch of friends but I will still choose spending time with you over having alone time. It's crazy and a lot of people cannot understand but I just feel so comfortable with you. When I'm with you I'm me and that matters alot. Whether I'm in my worst days or my best you always allow me to be me. I feel safe with you and I guess that's where it counts. 

You are not just my lover, you are also my best friend. It is this friendship that brings our love to another level. My favourite moments in our relationship are the ones that happen unplanned. The ones where we are both lying on the couch in our ugliest home clothes, hair messed up and crumbs on our cheeks. The ones where we have the most silliest and randomest of conversations and then start laughing at each other's answers. The ones where time flies by so fast that 2 hours feels like 2 minutes. The ones where we reminisce our favourite moments that has happened in our life together.

I love you always. To many more "first" dates. 

-Ally

Monday, 2 January 2017

2016 Reflections

To be honest I didn't really want to write this post because it reminds me that time is going by too quickly. Some days I live in this state of denial that time isn't fleeting but then reality hits and it's time to get real. So... with a heavy heart I'm sitting here writing this post trying to conjure up memories of the year but again, there's too many and I don't want to bore you with details you probably can go back and read yourself. So instead let me sum up my 2016 in 3 significant moments the best I can. 

1. Me


I learnt that I am still very much me. The me who is unconventional and a little bit unprecedented. There were times in 2016 where I felt like I was expected to conform to standards and norms and sometimes I feel like I need to be the "right" example for my child. So many times I catch myself wanting to say or do the "right" things instead of what is "needed" just to avoid confrontations or judgement. And then I remember that God has made me different, my whole life I've been different and how I have never been able to fit into any moulds. The more I forced myself to fit things usually end up messy and I end up feeling even more lost and out of place. 

In 2016, I chose to stop making decisions so I'd be someone likeable instead I allowed myself to become more me. It was getting tiring to be likeable, safe and politically right so I stopped. I stopped forcing myself to attend church when I wasn't feeling it, I stopped forcing myself to go for meetups when I felt antisocial, I stopped forcing myself to be that mother who looked like she had everything figured out when I didn't, I stopped liking things because that's what everyone was liking when I clearly had opposing views and I stopped forcing myself to be that perfect person and allowed myself to make mistakes and learn. I chose to do things because I wanted to and not because it was expected, desired or right. 

It felt good to be free, unbounded by all the unnecessary responsibilities and weight of perfection and just allowed my flaws to show. And that was when I wrote the post declaring I was a stay-at-home mom because I had enough of trying to convince people and myself that I had to be more. I just wanted to be me and being the me that was real, relatable, honest and raw. I didn't want all the masks, the titles, the politically correctness - I wanted to be me. The messy, unconventional, have bad days, say the wrong things me. 

And the more I became myself, the more I fell in love with myself. Narcissistic as that sounds, I loved the flawed me and I loved that I no longer felt like I was failing myself or others. Loving me made me a better person, a more understanding person, friend, wife and mother. 

2. Motherhood


Another year of motherhood and this time to a tiny human who has a mind, personality and identity of her own. Motherhood certainly had it's ups and downs. Some days felt like I was in the middle of World War Toddler and some days felt like I was on motherhood cloud nine. But never a day where I felt like I had made a mistake becoming a mother, even when it felt impossible. Being a mother is something I didn't expect to fall in love with, but I did more and more each day. 

The other day I was talking to an aunty and was complaining to her how LittleLim is testing my patience now with her terrible twos. She looked at me and said "even when you're complaining about your daughter you're still smiling and laughing." It made me realise that LittleLim brings me great joy and pride even when she's misbehaving herself because she's mine and I have loved her since I found out about her. 

In many ways motherhood has given me more freedom to find myself. LittleLim is an extension of me and by teaching her I am also teaching myself. By her learning to be herself, I learn to be me. I learnt that there is no concrete way of mothering and to just do what works for you and your child. Just like life, I've broke so many rules when it came to my mothering methods. I've broke many rules when it came to breastfeeding. I broke many rules when it came to sleeping. In the beginning I used to be so worried of being judged but now, I embrace my methods because it works for me. Looking at LittleLim now who has grown up well, haven't had any major health issues and is definitely a happy kid whatever I'm doing works for me and that's what matters for me right now. I'm no longer afraid of making my own decisions and saying "no" or "yes" to well meaning advice if it doesn't work for me. After all, this is my child and at the end of the day no one is more responsible for her than Hubbycat and myself. And if anything I want my child to remember my voice and not me being someone I'm not. 

3. Dreams

This year I learnt that you can try running away from your dreams, you can put it aside, you can hide it or a dream could be placed at the backseat while you tend to other more important ideas, things, priorities in life but eventually if the dream is real, if it is destined, if it is a calling you're meant to do then somehow the road will lead you back to it. 

This year I found myself back at the place I thought I would not see myself in ever, the business world. I thought I had missed the boat, said goodbye to that life and chose to focus on being a housewife and mother but clearly God has other plans and I found myself spending more time back in the corporate world. And I love it because it's something I've always been passionate about and growing up it was where I always saw myself at. Life happened and I found myself going further away from this dream and focusing on other things in my life. Then motherhood happened and whatever dreams I had was put to rest. So to find myself back at the place I first dreamt of is surreal and meaningful. 

I'm so much different as a person today compared to when I first was given this dream. But today, I find myself appreciating this dream so much more. In many ways the roads that I thought were taking me away from the dream was only preparing me for it. It was equipping me the skill sets and experience needed to tackle the role and tasks at hand. 

Myself, motherhood and chasing my dreams are the three themes of my 2016. A huge chunk of it was of course adjusting and adapting to all the changes that happened. And with any other year, there are of course both good and bad days but I will always choose to be thankful. Thankful for the Hubbycat who has been there for me all the time even when I was at my weakest, who still believed in me when I fail to believe in myself and who encouraged me to keep growing. Of course, God who has again reminded me that His plans are unknown but always for good. And of course, thankful that He has still kept His promise in protecting my heart. 

As always, I have no resolutions or big hopes and dreams for 2017 because life is what you make it to be and for me, it's always living, learning, growing and being inspired by the small and big things in life. 

Happy New Year!

-Ally

Thursday, 22 December 2016

"Mommy! Hi!"

This Christmas, I have a wish. A bit of a selfish wish, but I wish LittleLim would start speaking more. Stringing proper words together. Now she randomly shouts things or can go on and on and on in baby babble. It's so cute but at the selfish me wants to understand what she's saying too. Now it's like she has this secret language only she understands.
Last year I wished she would start walking and walking she did before the year ended. So this year, I'm wishing she would start talking. 

And this afternoon, while I was working on my computer and she was playing at the side out of the blue she shouted. 

Mommy!
Hi!

Hahaha. Oh my, my heart. Such sweet sounds. I can't wait for more. 

-Ally